Dear Organic Pet Food Manufacturer:
As I write this, my cat Buddy is sitting behind me on the sofa, poking me in the neck with his back feet. It hurts. I am annoyed. I suspect he is poking me over and over again in the neck because is annoyed with me as well.
Why is my cat Buddy annoyed with me? Because I made the mistake of buying a can of your fancy over-priced "organic" cat food from a new natural market near Silverfish Hunter Gal's apartment last night.
This evening when I opened the can, I knew immediately that Buddy would despise your cat food. You see, there was no gravy. Buddy is a big fan of gravy. And not only was there no gravy, the food itself had the consistency of pink paste.
Note to cat food manufacturers: Cats don't want to eat paste. They cannot chew paste. They cannot even properly get paste into their mouths.
Now, if you had ever watched my cat Buddy - the most fastidious mammal on the planet - trying to get pink paste from the interior of a blue china bowl into his mouth using only his tongue because he cannot effectively grasp the pink paste with his front teeth - and all the while trying to not get said paste on his nose, whiskers or chin - you would understand this. (First you would laugh really really hard, though.)
So please: Stop making pasty cat food. On behalf of fastidious cats everywhere, I thank you.
PS: Buddy said to make sure that you put gravy on everything. Lots and lots of gravy. Thanks again.