Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Cats don't like to eat paste.

Dear Organic Pet Food Manufacturer:

As I write this, my cat Buddy is sitting behind me on the sofa, poking me in the neck with his back feet. It hurts. I am annoyed. I suspect he is poking me over and over again in the neck because is annoyed with me as well.

Why is my cat Buddy annoyed with me? Because I made the mistake of buying a can of your fancy over-priced "organic" cat food from a new natural market near Silverfish Hunter Gal's apartment last night.

This evening when I opened the can, I knew immediately that Buddy would despise your cat food. You see, there was no gravy. Buddy is a big fan of gravy. And not only was there no gravy, the food itself had the consistency of pink paste.

Note to cat food manufacturers: Cats don't want to eat paste. They cannot chew paste. They cannot even properly get paste into their mouths.

Now, if you had ever watched my cat Buddy - the most fastidious mammal on the planet - trying to get pink paste from the interior of a blue china bowl into his mouth using only his tongue because he cannot effectively grasp the pink paste with his front teeth - and all the while trying to not get said paste on his nose, whiskers or chin - you would understand this. (First you would laugh really really hard, though.)

So please: Stop making pasty cat food. On behalf of fastidious cats everywhere, I thank you.


La Gringa

PS: Buddy said to make sure that you put gravy on everything. Lots and lots of gravy. Thanks again.


Anonymous said...

Please tell me that it wasn't overpriced, organic, vegetarian cat food, at least.

Buddy, I'm psychically send you all the gravy you can hold.


La Gringa said...

On behalf of Buddy, the world's stupidest cat, I thank you.