Cherie Priest shoots a man in the ass.

Take one neurotic writer with a recalcitrant umbrella and a gallon of milk. Add one jaywalker with an angry chihuahua. Shake well. Observe results.

If you read nothing else all week - for the love of all that is holy - read this story. I very nearly shot Cheerios out of my nose this morning after I read this post. Yes, it's that funny.