Saturday, September 22, 2007

La Gringa ties a half-assed Windsor knot.

I am going to a bachelorette party this evening in SoHo. Now, as you may have guessed from my previous post, I don't exactly own a wardrobe that is conducive to clubbing in SoHo. There is not one thing in my closet that anyone from the cast of Sex in the City would have worn. Sigh. So, I am wearing jeans, black Kenneth Cole shoes (man shoes), a white DKNY button-down and a blue-striped DKNY silk tie.

It is this last item that has become the bane of my existence. You see, despite my unquestioned dykey-ness, I cannot tie a tie to save my life. You would think that the fact that I grew up with two brothers would have rubbed off on me, but - alas! No.

I stood in front of the mirror for thirty minutes, twisting, tucking, looping, weaving and tying, and in the end managed only to very nearly accidentally hang myself from the shower-rod. Stinkyboy was merrily amused, however. I'm sure I did, in fact, appear to be one giant cat toy. My nice blue silk tie now bears several distinctive Stinkyboy fabric-pulls. Grrrrrrrr.

Well, since Tim Gunn is not coming to my rescue this evening, this is what you get. Don't say I didn't warn y'all.

Edit to add: And to top off my ensemble, I've just now stepped into a freshly steaming pile of cat puke that has mysteriously appeared in front of the bathroom sink. Thanks, Stinkyboy.


Aaron M. Wilson said...

bcNice. I hope you have fun.

I’m going to Ground Zero ( tonight to celebrate a friend’s B-day. I hate clubbing. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, but I go anyway. I’ve never been Goth or into S&M or Bondage-A-Go-Go. So, I don’t have an all black out fit or cloths with chains or what have you. I’m going in my Converse skate shoes, blue jeans, and brown button down shirt.

Friends suck, but without them, I’d never leave my books and my couch. : )

La Gringa said...

I guess you've gotta love a place whose motto is "Bondage - Drink - Dance". Do come back and share with us! ;-)

Anonymous said...

I'll send RT right over to help.


Aaron M. Wilson said...

Well, I’m glad that is over. But, I had fun. What can I say, I just don’t like the idea of clubbing, but when the music starts pumping, and the cage girls are girding away, and the gimp in the corner is being beaten by the dominatrix, I just can’t help myself: I got dace.

However, the music was bad techno. I love techno, but this stuff was strange and hard to jump to. I’m glad that we were only there for a few hours.

How did the bachelorette thing go?

La Gringa said...

Ranger Ted! I need your help!!!