Via Ron Hogan, this hilarious story about a third-grade teacher trying to read the classic childrens book Blueberries for Sal to her class. If you don't remember the story, it involves a confrontation between a small boy and a black bear, both of whom are after the same patch of blueberries. Here's what happened when the teacher asked the class what they thought would happen next:
And it gets even funnier! Read the whole thing here.
So what do you think happens next, Mrs. G. asked him brightly.
What do I think? I think Sal is a goner.
Oh, no no no no no, said Mrs. G. quickly, I've read this book hundreds of times. Sal doesn't die. The mother bear is a nice, loving bear.
The kid wasn't having any of it.
I saw a show on the Discovery Channel, he said, bears are unusually aggressive. A mother bear is called a sow, and a sow is very protective of her offspring. A sow will always attack if she thinks she or her cub is being threatened.
To bring it on home, the boy took his finger and slowly slid it across his throat.