Why I may have rejected your query letter this week:

Lotsa reasons, some of which you can't control. But here are some things you can control in your query letter, and by doing so, increase your odds that I'm actually going to read the entire thing and possibly ask for more:

Spelling and grammar mistakes: Yes, I do notice them. And, yes, they do count against you. A query letter is basically your application for a writing job. To earn a job writing, you must be familiar with the tools of the language: spelling and grammar. 'Nuff said.

Typos: One typo I may forgive but a letter riddled with "teh" instead of "the" is getting rejected. Attention to detail matters.

You addressed me by another agent's name or no name at all or you included me in a mass-emailed query.

You included the phrase "Cos, bitch, you're gonna love this!" in your query letter. (Yes, seriously. Not sure what he was thinking with that one.)

You spent five paragraphs telling me A.) how much you love writing, B.) how long you have been writing, C.) how much you have always wanted to be a writer or D.) all of the above. Not to seem heartless but...I don't care about any of this. By including this in your query, you're wasting precious space. Again, think of the query as a cover letter for a job. Would you write this a cover letter? "I have wanted to be a marketing manager since I was six years old. I spent my entire childhood marketing all of my friend's dogs, cats and hamsters...By the time I was in high school I had moved onto marketing for the Piggly Wiggly down the street, dreaming of one day marketing for a giant multi-national corporation in New York City." No, you wouldn't because it sounds ridiculous. Well, it sounds ridiculous in a query, too.

You told me that you'd previously self-published the book you're querying about but now want to reach a wider audience. Unless you sold several thousand copies of that self-published book (we're talking five digits here, kids), a legit trade publisher won't be interested. And neither will an agent. Write a new book instead!

You told me that you were previously published by someone like PublishAmerica... and meant it. This is akin to telling me that you would consider yourself previously published if you had Xeroxed pages of your manuscript and stapled them together.

You didn't read my submission guidelines: How do I know you didn't read my submission guidelines? Because you: A.) included an unsolicited attachment with your query, B.) snail-mailed your query, C.) didn't cut-and-paste the first five to ten pages of your manuscript into the email with your query letter, D.) sent me a query for a subject matter that I clearly don't represent like screenplays, poems, or Christian fiction, or E.) all of the above.

Try to give yourself a fighting chance before you hit "send" on that emailed query, okay?