Better late than never: Query Haiku Contest Winners!

Can I just say how amazed I am that you guys always manage to rise to the incredible query challenges that I throw at you? First I make you do a whole query in 140 characters, and you blow me away with your creativity and ability to convey an idea in such a concise way. And now I make it harder: write a whole query using the constraints of the haiku format. Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.

GREAT JOB, PEOPLE!

Now, a few of you are not so great at counting syllables so those queries were, unfortunately, disqualified. (Although, if you want a great visual to keep you laughing, picture me mumbling to myself and counting syllables aloud on my fingers at 4:00 AM on Saturday night. Good times!) But the majority of you knocked the ball out of the part. Impressive!

The Winning Query:

Cross-dressing rent boy
wants man to love and girl's voice
in head to shut up.
(tcastleb)

Honorable Mentions:

Geek boy, surfer girl
Cosmic Freaky Friday tale
Nightmares turn to dreams
(laura)

Girl turns into frog
Must kiss princess to transform
Dissection is near
(teennovelist)

Sole teen character
Desolate wild Alaska
His quest to survive
(pablo)

Chicago mayor
hurts a child, K. breaks the news
mayor wants her dead
(thea miller ryan)

Knights of Roundtable
Reborn as New Jersey teens
Learn past, save future
(melissa)

The Funniest Queries:

Damn it, Jim, I'm a
Novelist not a poet,
Letter I will write.
(dina)

"It's about Love! O-
vercoming all obstacles."
Wait, that's Moulin Rouge.
(anonymous)

Will you buy my book?
It's Epic in Proportion,
Fraught with Great Peril.
(finch)

After near-drowning
Woman gives birth to mermaid
Spouse finds it fishy
(serenissima)

Thanks, everyone who participated! And Ms. Castleberry, please feel free to pick a query to send me a query to critique as your prize!